Torso Punk

It had recently come to my attention that Punk’s Dead: SLC Punk 2 will be coming out soon and I had to check out the trailer. I have hope for it but deep down, I need it to be good. SLC Punk was a big movie for me in high school when I started dabbling in different music genres all over the place. The thing is, I realized it had been years since I saw the original movie and my copy frequently vanishes into a box or somewhere on a shelf when things get reorganized. So, I wasted no time putting SLC Punk on while I had it in my sights. Needless to say it’s just as wonderful as I remember but that wasn’t all I remembered.

Flash back to my high school days where I was incredibly awkward as we all were at that point (and if you say you weren’t I don’t believe you). Thanks to everything I learned from movies and television, I had a certain idea of social order in high school. You had the jocks and cheerleaders at the top of the chain with everyone else squabbling below. The preps, nerds, geeks, goths, and punks all fighting for their piece. Needless to say, it certainly wasn’t quite like that but I wanted to fit in somewhere in that. In the narrative of my high school mind, I was a lazy young goth who embraced the weird. Well, that was until three things happened. It was pointed out I wasn’t nearly as goth as I hoped I was, I was a total geek (still am), and I encountered punk music.

There was something about the messy noise that filled my ears and stood as a nice big FUCK YOU to anything and everything I hated and made me feel uncomfortable as a young Torso Boy who still had yet to really find himself. So with this wonderful revelation, I sought out everything 80’s and punk. Ramones, Sex Pistols, Dead Kennedys, Anti-Flag, it all fueled me to not let the world comfort me but find my own comforts in my own way. My life and my destiny was mine to forge from that moment. Enter SLC Punk. In my search, I needed more understanding behind all the angry yelling I was rocking out to. I mean I already got the anti-government and rebellion out of it. What SLC Punk taught me was anarchy, chaos, the complete void of order. Being young, dumb, and excited, I was hooked.

So, I was in high school, neither goth nor punk, wild, and hanging with a group I dubbed as outcasts simply because no one really fit one thing or another. I was trying so hard to fit somewhere yet never focusing on one thing or another. It wasn’t until high school was almost over that I managed to dislodge my oversized cranium from my rectal cavity. It dawned on me that it was counter intuitive to pursue anarchy. Unlike Stevo’s realization that everything he did for anarchy further enforced order, I realized I need order to be myself and succeed. I did not fit in the wild preconception of vicious rebellious anger.  So was I not the punk I hoped to be?

For a while after that, I gave up being anything but me. Label’s were something others pinned on you, not what you pinned to yourself. At least that’s what I thought to not invest much more time on it. When I stopped avoiding my own questions, I realized that the answers weren’t as scary as I made myself believe. Was I goth? Sure. Was I punk? Absolutely! It no longer became a question of how do I fit but what do these things mean to me. While being fashion and music, it was what you liked and a state of mind. My love of the odd and creepy made me goth. I may not spend an hour in the mirror putting on my guy liner like I occasionally did in high school but I still greatly appreciate many dark, creepy, and odd things. As for punk, I still have my own order to my life. It’s my own truth that I apply to myself. To me, punk means to not be afraid of being different and to fight everything that seeks to hurt us and our individuality. Do I need to be goth or punk? No! I can be whatever I damn well please. But that’s the wonderful kicker in all of this. These labels are however you define them and you are whatever you are happy and comfortable being. So just keeping you as I keep just being me. Oh… and don’t be a dick. That’s another good point.

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